As the summer break comes to an end, I have found myself unconsciously reflecting on how I spent these last few weeks. I think I am not alone in this habit. At the end of every summer, as the new school year looms ahead, with all of its unknown challenges, you can’t help but wonder if the break was used wisely and efficiently. During this summer, I traveled to five countries, one of them being the United States, where I saw three different states in order to see family. But despite the fact that I literally traveled around the globe for the second time in two years, the negative events stand out more than the positive ones. Why is this? Why can I remember the details of an entire day I had to spend in a hotel room because of illness, yet I hardly remember the details of the day before, when I walked the entirety of central London? Why am I so much more affected by my family’s 60 different ranting complaints (yes, I’ve been keeping a tally) than by the fact that my one-year-old niece and I have started a new habit of making silly faces at each other whenever we see each other?

I knew that humans are naturally more focused on the negative events in their lives, but I have never looked into it before. After spending three weeks in the suburbs of the US doing mostly nothing but watching mindless TV, I wanted to better understand this insistence my mind has on focusing on the frustrations over the joys. After a quick search, I immediately found a name for this phenomenon: negativity bias. 

Negativity bias is the human tendency to focus on negative experiences or information over positive ones. When looking at the benefits of negativity bias, it makes sense. Being hyper-intelligent creatures, humans have evolved to find ways to learn and improve. Focusing on the negative is how humans can find the lessons that need to be reviewed, the mistakes that need to be fixed, and the experiences that can be improved. When considering the best way to survive, it makes sense. But now that we are no longer hunters and gatherers in the wild, trying to figure out how we can live to see the next day, negativity bias is more likely to hurt our quality of life than improve it. 

Something I started doing with my class last year was teaching the importance of mindfulness. This is where our intelligence truly becomes our most powerful tool. Rather than let the negativity bias wash over us, dimming the present moment and spoiling the past and the future, focus on the present moment and our control over it instead. Are you feeling angry? Annoyed? Frustrated? Identify those feelings and reflect on them. Why do you feel this way, and what can you do to fix it? Also pay attention to the good. Are you happy? Why? What’s causing it? How can you hold on to it and enjoy it for as long as possible? 

Being mindful becomes easier the more you practice, which is why I have made the effort to keep my habit of meditating every night. With just a few minutes to reset my head and force myself to clear out everything, I am better able to stay present, stay aware of my emotions, and make choices about which ones I want to focus on. This is what I taught my students last year, and I hope to continue to do so. 

If you find that your child is in the same situation as me, trying to squeeze in as much as possible in the last few weeks of school, bemoaning the wasted days or missed opportunities, encourage them to be mindful. How does your child feel right now? Why do they feel this way? How can they take control? And more importantly, what did they enjoy from this summer?

I have been reflecting nonstop on how I can’t walk anywhere in a suburban town dominated by highways and intersections, but I can choose to stop. Instead, I can choose to reflect on the several visits I’ve made to my favorite fast food chain that I can’t find anywhere in Osaka (I have missed Mexican food so much!). I can choose to reflect on the night I spent with my in-laws watching our favorite movie, Moonstruck. I can focus on the comfort I feel now, sitting in my family’s home, listening to my baby niece giggling upstairs. I can make those choices, and I can find that this summer has been revitalizing and joyful. So rather than sulk and roll my eyes during another complaining rant that I know I will have to listen to later today, I’ll choose to add it to the tally and choose to laugh and enjoy. 

Header photo by Alejandro Piñero Amerio on Unsplash